


Safe with you

by jmurb30



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Fireworks, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fourth of July, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Hurt Shiro (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Kuro & Shiro (Voltron) are Twins, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Protective Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Soldier Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmurb30/pseuds/jmurb30
Summary: Shiro thought he could handle today. He never had a problem with the Fourth of July, well, he never had a problem with the holiday before being discharged from the military. He wants everything to be the same as it was before he joined the military, but Keith knows this Fourth won't be the same. Keith is more than ready to help Shiro, even if Shiro doesn't know he needs it.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Safe with you

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Attacks, Military Duty  
> If these topics are sensitive to you, please reconsider reading this fic.

Shiro kept his eyes on his love, the man occupying the drivers seat of their old jeep. He smiled to himself. Keith looked even more beautiful as the rays of the setting sun hit his face. Shiro gently squeezed Keith's thigh. As they stopped at a red light, Keith bent towards Shiro to give him an endearing kiss; a kiss that Shiro willingly accepted.

It had been a great day. The couple had gone to Keith's old roommate's house for a Fourth of July barbecue. Shiro had enjoyed himself and Keith seemed happy to have seen Lance again. After some burgers and beer, the couple had relaxed and spent the rest of the day in the backyard with Keith's college friends. However, as the sun began to set, Keith found Shiro and insisted that they went home early.

Keith's skin beaded with sweat and his brow was furrowed. Shiro focused his eyes back on the road. He wanted to keep Keith's nervousness to a minimum. He had only been home for a few months and Keith knew this was Shiro's first Fourth of July since his unexpected discharge. Shiro understood how terribly wrong the day could have been, but so far everything had been going right and he wanted to continue to see Keith happy and enjoying himself.

As the ride home continued, Shiro noticed how frequently Keith would glance over to check on his love, and then step harder on the gas. Shiro had put on his noise cancelling headphones, more for Keith's sake than his own. He had stubbornly protested the need for the headphones, but Keith insisted that he would not start the car unless Shiro had them on. He had been grateful when Keith had first given them to him and they really helped him during drives home while there was thunder or lightning. Keith figured today may not be so different.

Once Keith parked the truck in the driveway, Shiro watched as Keith gently took the headphones from him, turning them off in the process. "We're home big guy," Keith said, "How are you?"

Shiro gave a weak smile. "I'm alright. I'm sorry we had to leave the party early. I know how excited you were to see Lance."

"Don't be sorry. My stomach is a little fussy," Keith lied, "I kind of feel like laying around in sweats, if that's okay." Shiro knew that Keith was just trying to make him feel better.

"You don't want to see the fireworks?" Shiro knew that there were many risks when it came to fireworks (or so his therapist had told him), but he also knew how much Keith loved them, and he loved Keith, thus he would watch the fireworks just to see Keith's wide eyes and soft grin.

"Not really." Keith wrapped his arms around Shiro's torso and kissed his chin. "Let's go inside. You get the beers and I'll put on a movie, how does that sound?"

Shiro kissed Keith's forehead. "Sounds great." He followed close behind Keith as he was hurried inside. He then headed to their shared bedroom to change into a pair of gray sweatpants.

He took two beers from the fridge and went to the living room to meet Keith, who had already drawn the blinds and turned on a rom-com. Shiro sat on the couch and watched Keith snuggle into his side.

"The movie's kind of loud, sorry. Last time we watched a movie together I couldn't hear it." Shiro recognized Keith's statement as another lie, but he let it slide, instead wrapping his arms around Keith and draping a blanket over both of them.

"It's okay baby. I'm happy we're finally getting another movie night together, but are you sure you don't want to sit on the porch and watch the sky?"

"I'm sure Shiro. Now shush, I don't want to miss this," Keith teased.

~~~~

It was around nine when Shiro started to see flashes of light coming through the blinds and into the dark living room. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore them, focusing back on their movie. He was going to get through this night without problems. He wouldn't ruin this perfect day for Keith; he wouldn't allow himself to ruin today. Shiro was only able to sit through twenty minutes before reaching for Keith's hand.

Keith looked down at the calloused hand that held his own. "Are you feeling alright? Do you want to finish the movie in bed?"

"Do I need a reason to hold my boyfriend's hand?" Shiro asked nonchalantly. He continued to take deep breaths and willed his body to relax. Shiro knew he should have said yes when Keith asked if they could lay down, but for once he felt comfortable and Keith looked adorable curled up next to him.

Shiro was able to remain calm through most of the bangs that came outside with the help of Keith, who rubbed circles into the back of Shiro's hand. However, one especially loud boom sent Shiro back to his first months in Iraq.

~~~~

_The desert was ungodly; the humidity was high and the bright sun beat on his back. Shiro wiped his brow and stayed crouched low, looking at his brother to lead the troop. This mission was simple: find the survivors and give aid where needed. Shiro had done dozens of these types of missions and figured he would have enough time for him and Kuro to facetime their parents before it was too late back home._

_On Kuro's cue, the troop began to engage. They all quietly moved forward, scouting for any signs of life in what appeared to be a ghost town. Kuro then gave the orders to split up in pairs of two. The Shiroganes began to look through shacks as their comrades scoped the rest of the town._

_The brothers entered an empty shack. While in the kitchen, Shiro heard the house creak. It had to be nothing. The shacks were old; it could have been the wind._ _He had heard creaks in the other deserted shacks. It had to be nothing._

_Shiro went to check a bedroom, jumping back when he heard gunshots. He quickly cleared the bedroom before going back to find Kuro. He had just returned to the kitchen when the front door was broken down, men dressed in uniform shouting and running towards them. Shiro crouched behind a couch, Kuro next to him behind the chair._

_"Take a deep breath Takashi. We've got them."_

_Shiro nodded and began to shoot. He fired with accuracy and without hesitation, but the men weren't letting up. The enemy must have retrieved information about this special-ops mission, knew that the American troops were coming. Shiro crouched down to reload his rifle, taking ragged breaths. He could hardly hear himself think over the gunshots and prayed to God they would live._

_Shiro looked over at Kuro after hearing a deafening scream, only to see his brother laying flat on his back. Shiro maneuvered behind the chair, putting pressure on his brother's chest. Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the blood on his hands._

_"Kuro... Kuro stay with me. You're okay. Stay with me please."_

_Kuro only smiled up at his brother. "I'm proud... I'm proud of you... T-Takashi," he said through broken sobs._

_"Don't talk like that. You're a Shirogane. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine Kuro."_

_Kuro let out a sigh. "I don't... I don't think so... baby brother..." Shiro could feel how hard Kuro was breathing, watching helplessly as his brother's eyes began to flutter. "Take care... care of Mom and Dad... Tell... Tell them I love them..."_

_Shiro sobbed and held on to Kuro, putting more pressure on the bullet wound. He didn't register anything. He didn't register the bullet to his shoulder. He didn't register when the gunshots had stopped. He hardly registered himself being dragged off his brother's corpse. He didn't hear the loud voices yelling to him. He didn't feel the blow to his head. He didn't, couldn't, feel anything._

~~~~

Shiro was brought back by a hand on his shoulders. He took deep breaths, focusing on the gentleness of Keith's touch. He was home, he was safe. He was stronger than this.

"You okay?" Keith asked.

"Yeah," Shiro replied, wiping the sweat from his forehead. He felt weak, like he could have done more to prevent the attack.

"Your hand started shaking. You have tears in your eyes. Shiro I know something happened." Keith's voice was gentle, more so concerned than upset, but Shiro still flinched. "You don't have to tell me, but please don't lie."

Shiro nodded and gulped. "I saw Kuro... I saw him... I saw..." Shiro couldn't say it. He couldn't fathom the words to tell Keith what had happened. Keith vaguely knew what happened to Shiro's twin, but wouldn't press his love for details. Shiro started sobbing, as hard as he had when it happened, as if he had just lost his brother all over again.

"It's okay. Take your time."

'I'm sorry," Shiro gulped, more and more tears spilling down his face. "I'm trying so hard to be strong for you. And... And I'm sorry I'm not... not stronger."

"No...Don't say that." Keith was still so very gentle as he pulled Shiro's head to his chest. "You don't have to be strong all the time, okay? I thought this might happen, but it's okay. You can't always control it."

Shiro hugged Keith, sobbing into his love's chest. "It's so hard being home."

"I know Shiro. I know. You're doing so well. It's hard to adjust, but you're doing so well."

Shiro looked up at Keith before nuzzling his head into Keith's chest. After forty or so minutes, Shiro had calmed down. His eyes were red and puffy; his nose congested.

"Want to talk about what triggered this?" Keith asked.

Shiro sniffled. "I tried not to let the fireworks bother me, but there was one really loud one and then I was back in Iraq. I was back when they took me."

Keith nodded. "There were a lot of loud ones," he whispered. "But it's okay. You're home now. You're safe here with me. I promise."

"I'm safe here with you." Shiro took some deep breaths, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Can we go lay down? I'm still feeling really shaky and our room has the blackout curtains."

"We can do whatever you want. Just tell me what you need."

Shiro nodded and tried to stand up and get himself to bed. He leaned heavily into Keith. They made it to the kitchen before another bright flash sent Shiro back to an operating table.

~~~~

_The lights were dim in the lab, a purple hue emanating from the corners of his vision. Shiro had no idea how much time had passed since his capture. He had lost sense of time long ago. All he knew was that he was exhausted, starving, and helpless. He remembered finishing an interrogation with Sendak not too long ago and he remembered blacking out, but not much else._

_Shiro tried to stand, but he was firmly strapped down on a metal table. Metal was clamped around his torso, both legs, his chest, as well as his arms. He noticed that his right arm, which was bloody and broken in several places, was strapped down in three different locations._

_He watched as the scientist, Haggar, approached him. She was a familiar, yet unkind face. He knew nothing good happened when she was involved._

_She cackled. "If it isn't my favorite patient."_

_Shiro's heart began to race and his breathing was shallow. He began to squirm, trying to save himself from the pain he knew was going to come._

_"Don't struggle now. You wouldn't want to tamper with this procedure." Haggar then disappeared out of Shiro's line of view. He tried to see what she was doing, but one of her scientists held his head firmly, exposing his neck._

_Shiro shut his eyes. He willed his mind to dissociate. He had done it before, many times with Sendak. Shiro didn't want to be here for this experiment. Shiro waited in anticipation for what felt like hours, then he felt a sharp prick against his neck. He opened his eyes, breath leaving his body in shock._

_He hazily watched as a bloody needle was waved in front of his face. "Just a little something to ease your nerves. This is going to be... interesting."_

_Shiro's vision went in and out of focus as he watched two scientists come towards the operating table. One scientist firmly held his wrist and bicep, while another held what looked like a power saw. Shiro's eyes widened. He knew what was about to happen, and he didn't want any part of it. He began thrashing, using any strength he had left._

_"Please... Please not my arm... Please. I'll do anything..." Shiro was freely crying, continuing to thrash on the table. "Please don't take my arm... Please..."_

_"Already broken, soldier boy? Such a shame. I thought the Americans would have enlisted stronger men," Haggar taunted. A wicked grin crossed her face. She walked back over to Shiro, gently brushed back the hair on his forehead. She then plunged a long and thick needle into Shiro's neck. He immediately felt a huge weight on his chest. He was unable to move his limbs._

_The injection kept Shiro still, but that was all. He heard the high shriek of the power saw. He felt the beads of sweat drip from his brow. He could hear screaming, but at first didn't realize it was coming from him. He then registered the searing pain coming from his right arm. Shiro was unable to cope with amount of pain he was in, and yet unable to lose consciousness._

~~~~

Shiro didn't realize how hard he was gripping his hair or how loud he was screaming. Phantom pains ghosted his right arm, directly where the metal prosthetic met skin. He clawed at his prosthetic with his left hand, trying to get the cursed hunk of metal off his bicep. He aggressively swiped at his tears. He looked back down at his arm to see a pair of hands unbuckling the prosthetic and ever so gently taking it off.

Shiro looked up to see Keith's worried face. "I know this is hard, and I know you're scared."

Shiro nodded and sniffled, tears continuing to stream down his face. "Help..."

Keith gulped and gently extended his hand, leaving it in the air for Shiro to hold if he so desired. "Can you try to breathe with me?" Keith had seen how bad Shiro's attacks could get. He knew that any fast movements or unauthorized touching could send Shiro back into another flashback. Keith wasn't angry or upset. He remained calm and ready to help Shiro.

Shiro stared at Keith's violet eyes, taking a deep breath in.

"One. Two. Three. Four," Keith counted, eyes locked on Shiro. "Now hold it, okay? One. Two. Three. Four." Shiro was easily able to follow. "Good. Now deep breath out. One. Two. Three. Four."

Shiro gently reached for Keith's hand. "Again?"

"We can do this as many times as you need. Deep breath in." Keith stayed with Shiro, counting his breaths over and over until Shiro's left hand stopped shaking.

"Keith-" Shiro started, but he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. His tongue was heavy in his mouth, the words blank in his mind.

"Hush... Speak when you're ready." Now that Shiro was much calmer, Keith helped him to his feet. Shiro's right arm felt numb and his legs were jelly. Keith supported Shiro as they stood, afraid his love would fall. "I have a little surprise that I think might help."

Keith then guided Shiro to the bathroom. When Shiro was allowed to leave the hospital after his discharge, Keith explained that he had remodeled the bathroom. Not only was the room aesthetically pleasing, but also acted as a panic room. The walls were soundproof and there weren't any windows. The door had three locks as well as a thermostat. Keith also made sure that the bathroom was more spacious so the two didn't feel crowded if it ever had to be used.

Shiro entered the bathroom to see a picnic basket of snacks, a laptop and charger, as well as blankets and pillows placed in the tub. Shiro hugged Keith, kissing his jet black hair. "You did this for me?"

Keith smiled, returning the hug. "I thought the fireworks might startle you, and I wanted you to have a safe space to go if today became too much." Keith locked the door and led Shiro over to the tub, which was big enough for both of them to fit comfortably. Keith sat down.

"Alrighty big guy." Keith helped Shiro step in and then gently moved Shiro so his head was laying against Keith's chest, their legs tangled together. "Is this okay?"

Shiro nodded into Keith's chest, trying to match his breathing with Keith. "Thank you."

"It's the least I could do to make you feel better." Keith gently stroked Shiro's hair, raking his fingers against his boyfriend's undercut. "We can sleep in here tonight."

"Okay," Shiro whispered, visibly relaxing into Keith. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Shiro spoke up: "I was back when they took my arm. They didn't put me under. I... I felt everything." Shiro's voice sounded tired and numb.

Keith nodded in acknowledgement and gently ran his fingers through Shiro's hair. He knew Shiro would talk when he was ready, and when he was ready, Keith would be there, ready to listen.

While in the tub, Shiro told Keith about the amputation, about how helpless he felt, how helpless he still feels. Shiro explained the phantom pains he'd been hiding. He admitted to how on some days he couldn't look at his arm or he couldn't look in the mirror because of the scar on his nose. By the end of it, he felt better, at ease. He was grateful that Keith was open to this new information and wanted to help Shiro.

Once everything was out in the open, Keith kissed the tip Shiro's nose, ever so gently. "I love you Shiro. And your time in the military... Your time as a prisoner of war... That will never change us."

Shiro nodded and wiped his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much Keith."

Keith smiled. "Wanna finish that movie?"

That night, the two lovers finished their movie and fell asleep in the tub, safe from the fireworks outside.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this Sheith one shot. Kudos and comments are always appreciated.


End file.
